freedom is extremely expensive

a few weeks ago i was emailing back and forth with a veryyyy old friend of mine... we haven't talked for about 15 years, so yea... lots of catching ups...


in 1 of the emails, he found out how long i've been in this country... then he said that it's been always in his dream to take his family to move 'n get established here. in his mind, he pictured how wonderful living in this country w/ all the perks 'n all that.. come to his surprise when i said that moving to this country when you were really young and living in this country, esp. BY YOURSELF, weren't easy at all. you pretty much built yourself to be who you are right now. so many times right or wrong is very blur 'n you have no one who can be asked or give you definite answers. any decision you make, you take all the results coming outta it by yourself with nobody to blame. world around you is shaking, you gotta keep standing tall no matter what. at times, it's extremely and painfully tiring 'cuz you walk, run, fall, stand up again, cry, angry.. everything by yourself... and you gotta deal w/ everything by yourself. coming from a country where you have the privilege of having maids and drivers to serve you (you don't even need to worry to make your bed or wash dishes or anything... things you do on your own are ONLY breathing, brush your teeth, take shower, eat and sleep) trust me, living in this country can definitely frustrate you 'cuz you have to do EVERYTHING by yourself, from dusting, washing dishes to cleaning up the bathroom... no matter how much you hate doing it, you still have to do it... esp. laundry, otherwise you will be wearing no bras or panties under there... hehehe

i wasn't telling my friend that it was a bad idea to move here... i was just giving him the real picture of living here as normal people. people might see US as a fun place to be, it is fun, but it's not as easy as some might've imagined... well, maybe if he has more dinero to spend, then it's gonna be different story. so, if he's ready to face all that, then why waiting? :) he was surprised 'cuz he never thought that way before. then he asked me why i still chose to stay here if the life here wasn't as easy as back home.......

hmmm i know i've been living here for quite a long time 'n i get used to with everything here already. to be honest, even though it's really tough, i love being here.... why? the main reason was 'cuz i can be who i really am here. i have my freedom to do what i please. there'll be nobody butt in my business as how most (or many?) people back home do.... and another thing, in this country i have a chance to meet more different people and open minded people than back home... i dunno, i might be wrong, but that's what i've learnt so far...

i don't mean to glorify this country with what i said and think that it's the ONLY place to be. i haven't had a chance to live in other countries yet so i don't have enough comparison to do so. what i'm really trying to say is... i know everything has its own price... but i guess freedom is 1 of the luxury ones...