you KNOW that you're from NEW YORK CITY when...

courtesy of 1 of the groups in facebook.com

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.


2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.


3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.


4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.


5. The subway makes sense.


6. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.


7. You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".


8. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.


9. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.


10. You consider Westchester "upstate".


11. You think Central Park is "nature."


12. You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.


13. You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it’s a "steal."


14. You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.


15. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.


16. You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.


17. You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.


18. Your closet is filled with black clothes.


19. You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you.


20. You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.


21. You take fashion seriously.


22. Being truly alone makes you nervous.


23. You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.


24. Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."


25. America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.


26. You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form.


27. You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.


28. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.


29. $50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.


30. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.


31. You don't notice sirens anymore.


32. You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.


33. Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.


34. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.


35. You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.


36. You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.


37. Your door has more than three locks.


38. Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.


39. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.


40. You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.


41. You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.


42. You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.


43. You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.


44. There is no North and South...


45. It's uptown or downtown.


46. When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.


47. You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.


48. You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.


49. Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.


50. You know what a bodega is.


51. You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.


52. Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.....


53. You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas


54. Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you.


55. People from other states cant tell a polar bear from a peanut, but they know you're from NY the second you open your mouth.


56. When you are able to make a right turn at a red light.. you think it's the best thing ever.


57. Rather than waiting safely on the sidewalk to cross the street, you wait inches away from speeding traffic waiting to cut through it.


58. Your local news is national news.


59. You walk a mile in 13 minutes and think that everything should be open 24/7.


60. You know who Dr. Z is...


61. You think you know better than everyone else in the world.. when in reality.. well.. you do.


62. Yellow light means speed up.


63. Red light means speed up because you know have that 1 second pause until the other light turns green.


64. Communicating with people on the road only takes one finger.


65. You order your dinner and have it delivered.. from the place across the street.


66. You cross the street on a greenlight, and if you get hit by a car you blame the driver for "not watching where they're going.


67. You can tell a gunshot from a firecracker and not get scared, but when you go to the burbs you get scared of hearing a cricket.


68. You know the lights above the skyscrapers is the closest thing we have to stars.


69. The only reason you go to NJ is to go to Six Flags; as for adults, gas


70. Parties don't end until 4am yet you still don't wanna leave, and you know 7am is a ridiculous time to come in, but that diner is calling your name


71. You begin missing the city and feeling home sick once you cross the holland tunnel


72. You don't notice the garbage that "beautify" the streets any more


73. The only time you are interested in talking to strangers is when they ask for directions


74. You pissed off that the battery man never showes up on the subway when you actually need batteries


75. You meet someone else from the city and somehow you know 5 people in common.


76. You take five seconds to remember 4 of the 5 boroughs, then have to take another 10 to remember Staten Island....


77. You can walk down the street with only $20 in your pocket and have enough to buy an outfit including footwear and still have some money left to buy two slices with a soda


78. You can fall asleep while standing on a subway, while surrounded by people within inches of you and still wake up just in time for your stop, and feel refreshed by the nap.


79. The bus/train is crowded and you still squeeze yourself in then complain that someone is too close to you


80. The guy in the coffee cart up the block knows what you want without having to ask


81. Whenever you go anywhere outside of New York all of your friends constantly ask, "why are you walking so fast?"


82. Someone just died by jumping in the train tracks and all you can think about is you being late for work.


83. You go out of the country and instead of saying your American, you say you're from NY.


84. You can walk through "The City" for hours and not get tired but once your out of NYC and walk for 10 minutes you feel exhausted


85. Other people annoyingly tell you "This isn't New York" when you complain about how shitty where they live is.


86. Your doorman is your marriage counselor


87. The most obscene thing is happening right next to you and you walk right by it like absolutely nothing is happening


88. You think paying 6 dollars an hour to park you car is a "good price"


89. Your "walk" is more like a game of frogger with the cabbies


90. You think you're not being impolite as you yell on your phone in the middle of a restaurant


91. Every time you walk in a shop and its full of people you say "damn tourists"


92. You know who "Dan Smith" is


93. You'd rather take the subway than break the bank for a 7 dollar cab ride


94. You have a good idea where you are at just by looking at the Skyline


95. You've memorized the subway platform so that the train doors open right in front of you AND you know exactly what subway car to be on in order to get off right in front of the stairs at your stop (or any stop for that matter).


96. You determine how far away someone/something is by the trip it takes on the subway


97. People from other states say you have an accent, you think they're just lying.


98. You give tourists wrong directions just because


99. You run from the cops when you know you really didnt break any law


100. “Someone jumped in front of my train” is an acceptable excuse for being late to a party


101. You can tell if a person's a tourist or not by how fast they walk

and... a bit of wisdom taken from overheardinnewyork.com

Hobo: I will tell you the rules of being a goddamn New Yorker: one -- when you see a suspicious package, do not fucking tell anyone. If it has money in it, well, then you can take the money, but it probably doesn't, so don't say anything! Also, when you are in the city, do not refer to Sixth Avenue as 'Avenue of the Americas' unless you wish to sound like a complete moron!

--Brooklyn-bound F train